


Miss You Most Of All

by theauthenticme



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: 4x09 spoilers, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, bughead - Freeform, choni, my take on 4x09, supportive friends, varchie, what happened at the river and after
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:14:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21882109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthenticme/pseuds/theauthenticme
Summary: Here is my take on what happened during 4x09 after the choni scene on the show ended!!
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz
Comments: 12
Kudos: 84





	Miss You Most Of All

**Author's Note:**

> As seems to be a recurring theme on Riverdale, I didn’t feel the show did Cheryl’s storyline justice in 4x09. This picks up right where the scene in show ended!
> 
> Big shout out to Katherine. Thank you (always) for your friendship and kindness. I wouldn’t be publishing this today without your ongoing encouragement and support. ♥️

“He was a good brother Toni...” Cheryl cried, clinging tightly to Toni. “I wish you could have met him for real...” the tears were flowing fast now, Cheryl allowing herself to _feel_ everything that she hadn’t let herself feel before.

“I know...” Toni ran her hand soothingly up and down Cheryl’s back as she held her. “I know babe..”

Everyone stood there in a comfortable silence, watching as Jason’s body burnt, floating further and further down the river.

Cheryl didn’t feel she could take her eyes off him, knowing it would be the very last time she ever saw him. She needed to _keep_ looking at her brother just a bit longer.

“He’s really gone..” she sobbed into Toni’s shoulder as she clung to her. “He’s really, really gone..” it felt like she was finally accepting it properly since Edgar reopened her old wounds.

Toni said nothing, letting Cheryl simply ‘be’ in the moment, knowing that Cheryl _needed_ to do this. 

...

After the group had stood for a while, Cheryl seemed to regain some of her usual composure. Toni wasn’t sure if it was forced or if she genuinely felt a bit better, but she was going with it, knowing today was about Cheryl and her grieving process.

“You’ll all come back to Thistlehouse right?” She gave them a watery smile.

“Uh Cheryl? Are you sure you don’t want to be alone with Toni? Because we would totally understand if you did..” Veronica interjected. 

Cheryl shook her head. “Won’t you atleast come and have a drink? I know it’s going to feel very empty at home tonight..” tears started to slip down her cheeks again.

“Of course we will” Veronica agreed, the others nodding behind her. “Why don’t we give you and Toni a moment here, and meet you back at Thistlehouse in about..” she looked to Toni.

“About half an hour?” Toni suggested, Cheryl still tightly wrapped in her arms.

“Sounds good..” Veronica squeezed Cheryl’s shoulder in comfort as she passed, the others following behind her.

...

“Cher?” Toni asked quietly once they were alone. “Stupid question I know, but..how are you holding up?”

“Do you think he’ll forgive me for kicking him out and sending him down the river?” She whispered, her eyes serious and watery as she looked at Toni.

“Baby, of course. He loved you and would want you to be okay. Keeping his body wasn’t keeping _him_. His soul left his body the day he died and I’m sure he’s been drawing close to you ever since. He’ll still be able to do that whenever you let him.”

“Thank you..” Cheryl sniffled in response, unable to say anymore. The right words just didn’t seem to come.

They had arranged for the twins to stay with FP and Alice for the night, Nana Rose in respite care, meaning it would just be them at Thistlehouse for the first time in a _very_ long time. 

“They will come won’t they? For drinks?” her voice was small, a broken quality to it that Toni couldn’t quite identify.

“Of course they will, I’ll make sure of it..” her hand ran absently along Cheryl’s arm in unspoken comfort.

The wind started to pick up by Sweet Water river, Toni deciding that maybe that was a good time for them to head back home.

Cheryl didn’t take much persuasion, immediately nodding at Toni’s whispered suggestion, although she spoke no words herself. 

...

When they got back to Thistlehouse, Toni immediately draped a warm blanket around her pale looking girlfriend, sitting her in front of the fire she had pre lit that morning.

The chair that Cheryl had had Jason’s body sat in was still in the corner, Cheryl breaking down all over again when she saw it. Toni made a mental note to get rid of it as soon as possible, moving it out of the room for now before comforting Cheryl.

They stayed together on the couch until the door went, Toni leaving her alone to go let their friends in.

She showed them into the living room, Cheryl greeting them with nothing more than a small smile.

“How about I make everyone a nice mug of something warm?” Betty suggested, Toni and Veronica going out to the kitchen with her.

“How is she doing?” Veronica asked. They had all picked up on the understandably somber mood.

“Not so great. After her speech at the riverside, she’s barely said much more. After you guys left, she’s been almost silent besides asking me if I thought you guys would definitely come over and whether Jason would forgive her for in her words ‘sending him down the river’.”

“Doesn’t sounds like she’s in a good place emotionally..” Betty murmured as she set about making the drinks.

“I think..” Toni started, running a hand through her hair.

“You think..?” Veronica promoted, when Toni didn’t continue.

“I’m not even sure at this point” she admitted honestly. “Cheryl was the one who suggested it was time to say goodbye to Jason so I have to assume that emotionally, there was part of her at least that was ready to take that step. Maybe now she’s done it and he’s gone, it’s hitting her all over again maybe.”

“Have you ever considered a career as a therapist? You’ve got that psych-analysis thing down already” Betty grinned, lightening the mood.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence” Toni smiled. In truth, she _had_ been looking into studying psychology in College, working on her photography as a hobby instead, but now was not the time to be worrying about all that.

“I just want her to be okay you know?”

“Of course. You care deeply for her..” Veronica sympathized. “But this situation must have taken a huge toll..on all of you..”

Toni couldn’t deny that it had. “The whole thing has been gripping us like a vice for months now. And then add in Cheryl’s mother gaslighting her with an old doll from the attic and it’s been, in the words of my beloved ‘cuckoo bananas.’” Toni was glad it’s was finally over.

“This house needs some happy memories again. I want this Christmas to be memorable for Cheryl..in a good way..” Toni shared. “Once she’s come to terms with all this first of course.” 

“I agree” Veronica nodded, taking two of the mugs Betty had prepared. “Keep doing what you’re doing. Your presence in her life has been literally life changing.”

...

They all made their way back to the living room, Cheryl’s vacant gaze still focused solely upon the fire. 

“Has she said anything?” Veronica whispered into Archie’s ear, handing him a steaming mug. 

“Not a word..” he muttered. “We tried, but it was like she couldn’t even hear us.”

“Cher? Betty made you something to drink. are you okay to hold it?” Toni wasn’t sure she was even aware of her surroundings. To her surprise and relief, Cheryl nodded, accepting it into her hands as she balanced it on her lap.

Toni sat down beside Cheryl, kissing her cheek as her arm snaked around Cheryl’s back.

“Jason was a good person. I know Polly loved him very much..” Betty smiled, sitting down on Jughead’s lap. “And he’d want you to be happy Cheryl.”

“You think cousin?” Cheryl’s glossy eyes turned to look at Betty.

“I don’t think. I _know_. And we have the twins, TWO beautiful, loving reminders of your brother. He lives on through them. And I’m sure you tell the twins about him right?”

“I do..” Cheryl nodded. “I don’t want them to grow up not knowing who their father was.”

“They won’t. We knew him too..and Polly. We can all help to keep his memory alive for them. Right?” She looked to Archie who has been a good friend of Jason. 

“Of course Cher..” Archie smiled encouragingly at her.

“Thank you..” she closed her eyes, the tears falling silently down her cheeks, her head resting on Toni’s shoulder. Toni gave her thigh a comforting squeeze.

Giving her some space, the group chatted comfortably, the heat from the fire warming the room.

Before they knew it, their mugs were empty and it it was starting to get dark.

“I think we’re gonna head out..” Ronnie looked to her friends who nodded in agreement.

“How about I text you and Toni about doing something next week?”

“That would be great, thanks Ronnie..” Toni smiled, her thumb still rubbing circles on Cheryl’s thigh.

“Thank you...all of you, for coming today..” Cheryl murmured, her voice cracking from lack of use. “It means a lot to me. And I know JJ would have appreciated it too.” She didn’t move from her spot, but Toni was taking that as progress.  
Every small step made a difference. 

...

I’m not used to you being so quiet..” she rested her cheek ontop of the redhead’s head.

“I know you probably want to know how I’m feeling right now..” Cheryl mumbled. “But if I’m being completely honest with you TT...I’m not entirely sure...” once she started to talk, the words just kept on coming. “I feel..relieved. Relieved that I know I am not going mad and it was just my mother messing with me. But then when I think about _that_ , it makes me mad. Why couldn’t she just let us be happy?”

“She doesn’t know what happiness means...” Toni couldn’t stand the woman. “But we’ve dealt with her now haven’t we? So we can forget about her for now..”

Cheryl nodded, her gaze far away again. “We have my love.”

“And for tonight..my sole focus is you. No Nana Rose, no babies..” she listed off. “I’m right here..for whatever you need.”

Cheryl reached for Toni’s thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze in acknowledgement of her loving words.

“I’m always going to be here for you babe. You’ll never be alone again okay?”

“Never?” Cheryl whispered, her voice a little croaky.

“Never ever. I promise Cher..” she brought Cheryl’s hand to her lips, placing feather light kisses to her knuckles.

Toni would do everything in her power to make sure Cheryl never felt alone again, determined to spend every day she had on this earth showing Cheryl just how special and loved she was.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!
> 
> Let me know what you thought by leaving a comment below.
> 
> Come talk to me on Twitter. You can find me at: theauthenticme2 🥰


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